"Losing love is like a window in your heart. Everybody sees you're blown apart. Everybody sees the wind blow." Paul Simon
I've always had a window in my heart. My efforts to keep the sash shut and the blinds closed involve me bolting from a relationship or situation. Instead of letting him or her see me blown apart; I blow out of there. Instead of actually communicating what I think or feel. I'm out of there. Did I already say that?
This, I have discovered over time, is not a great mode of operation. More recently, this doesn't involve a physical escape, it is simply an emotional retreat. I know I am not fooling anybody and it takes but a second to see the wind blow. In fact, the wind can be barely a whisper and you can feel my energy concentrate into a black hole.
Why am I saying this? I had an experience lately in which I tried to stay present and hang onto my thoughts and feelings even though my heart had been shot clean through. How did I do? Well. I'm learning. And I still love the shooter anyway.
I've always had a window in my heart. My efforts to keep the sash shut and the blinds closed involve me bolting from a relationship or situation. Instead of letting him or her see me blown apart; I blow out of there. Instead of actually communicating what I think or feel. I'm out of there. Did I already say that?
This, I have discovered over time, is not a great mode of operation. More recently, this doesn't involve a physical escape, it is simply an emotional retreat. I know I am not fooling anybody and it takes but a second to see the wind blow. In fact, the wind can be barely a whisper and you can feel my energy concentrate into a black hole.
Why am I saying this? I had an experience lately in which I tried to stay present and hang onto my thoughts and feelings even though my heart had been shot clean through. How did I do? Well. I'm learning. And I still love the shooter anyway.
Comments
Post a Comment