All Of Us Must Be Better Now

The times require words. Words that I worry will sound puny or self-indulgent. Words that I know will fail to fully express my feelings of fear, sadness and rage. I fear catching and spreading the virus that has caused the deaths of 2 million people on this planet. Sadness over the inequity and injustice laid bare in the deaths of George Floyd, Brionna Taylor, Rayshard Brooks, and too many more black citizens this year. Rage over the political  and social chaos nurtured by a depraved and dissolute President. Fear, sadness and rage describes a toxic feeling-fog that I has socked me in this year, and maybe even the last four years. 

My cosmic dark mood and depressive energy has fed on personal losses too. The disappearance of most of my business, the cruel layoff of a dying client and friend, the months of isolation robbing my parents of community and connection, the lack of and longing for human touch, and underlying it all, illness have tested my resilience. I've been dealing with my own bodily insurgency. The good bacteria in my gut have succumbed to pathological marauders in a pathetic parody of the world around me. This is literally the shittiest year of my life so far and to riff on an idea of former President Barack Obama, hope seems more audacious than ever before. 

Yet, I hope. I hope that we are in the midst of a shift so powerful that nothing--not armed insurrectionists, not white supremacists, not mendacious politicians, not avaricious corporate leaders, and especially not the sadness and fear that hangs like a pall over the hearts of many Americans--will prevent us from becoming a people that affords freedom and justice to all, a people with the golden rule written in their hearts.

It's odd, but I have found myself thinking of the once-candidate for President Marianne Williamson. She wrote on the issues page of her campaign website, "Our task is to generate a massive wave of energy, fueled and navigated by we the people, so powerful as to override all threats to our democracy. Where fear has been harnessed for political purposes, our task is to harness love." She goes on, "...all of us must be better now: more educated, more involved, and more conscious citizens..."

I feel a creative  imperative to push past my fear, sadness and rage and find room for the love that I know surrounds me. What creative incarnation will will be birthed in swinging open the door? I don't know, but something good.